I Can’t

I can’t see, I can’t see

The lights are blurring me

Crack and split, the mask slips
Of pretences
Swallowing the tears
And pretending not to cry
Not to care
Or even ask why

Is it futile?
To try and contain
The tempest in the teapot
To build the walls
And try to break them too?

Can you see, can you see?
Or hear the shrilling screams

To sleep is to dream
To a slumber of numbness
And immortality

In sleep, the world is kind
Offering dreams on platters
Of gold and silver, intertwined

A dream of waking
And seeing in the mirror
A pair of dry eyes
For once and maybe forever

I am the snake
Climbing the ladder
Struggling to hold it in
Before it bursts

Do I dare, do I dare?
To pretend to smile
Or cry myself to sleep
To think there will be another day
Just like yesterday

Stewing in ghosts
In photos
And golden memories
I cannot move on
Beyond the stolen moments

I tried and I lied
And seeing my empty face
In the cold moon
In the dark, lonely nights
“Hush, it’ll be soon”
Holding my hand

But caught in a sick
Twisted desire
For a return to what
No longer is
Or can be

Why can’t, why can’t I see?
The light instead of the dark
In you and in me

We are blind, we are blind
A crumbling island
To a country
There is me
And then there is mankind

The words are illegible
The door is locked
The key is misplaced
With a gust of wind
I am gone
And am erased

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