For those of you who know me personally, you’ll know that I’m kind of a control freak. Call it my perfectionist nature or my bossy older sister role, but I have a hard time letting things go. Planning a wedding with this kind of nature is kind of tough though, and I’m recently learning on how to just let things go.
Given the fact that I have a very short timeline to plan my wedding, the days lately have been kind of crazy. In a way, they sort of remind me of my teacher college days. Last year, exactly around this time, I remember feeling so pressed for time. I remember writing a short piece describing this feeling of never having enough time, and it perfectly paints the picture of racing against the clock. I spend the days on the phone, booking appointments, scouring the internet for research, and running all around town to various malls. Add on top of this working part-time.
I’m lucky because I don’t work full-time, but balancing everything has become really tricky lately. Things are falling through the cracks and I’m trying to just let them.
Keeping up with all the things I normally do has become more challenging lately, and it’s so hard to to just let them go. This blog and my other blog have recently taken a hit. The work I usually do for my other blog via social media has also taken a hit. I’ve stopped looking at The Muslim Girl’s Google analytics because they’re just so abysmal but I can’t do anything to keep them up. I’ve fallen so ridiculously behind on my book goal on Goodreads that I’ve just stopped logging onto the site. My goals of baking and cooking more have fallen by the wayside, and I barely have time to eat since there’s always something else I should be doing. I had to abandon my sewing classes as I met with the designer of my wedding dress.
In the beginning, I tried to do it all. I really did. But as the days went by, it got harder to catch up on things. And that’s when I realised I just can’t do it. No matter how much I try, something’s got to give. So I reorganized my priorities. Preparing for the wedding and spending time with my family are the most important things, and so everything else can wait. If I get time to blog, I blog. If I don’t, I try not to beat myself up about it (too much).
It’s so hard letting go, especially when I’ve always tried to stay on top of things and get everything done. For me, it’s like failing to complete assignments for which I’ve set myself deadlines. The guilt builds up and I end up feeling disappointed in myself.
But I’ve realised that I can’t keep beating myself up over things that I just can’t do, especially at the risk of tiring myself out.
So if you don’t hear from me in awhile, I haven’t dropped off the face of the earth. I’m just letting things go.
Wish me luck!
Thanks for reading,