So it feels like it’s been awhile since I’ve done a Friday Things post so I figured it’s time to catch up with you all 🙂
It was Eid this past Monday, and so I’m still recovering from all the excitement and joy that comes from the holiday. Every year, it takes me a few days to get used to Ramadan being over and this year is no exception.
It’s always a physical and a spiritual adjustment. Physical because your stomach naturally shrinks and it’s weird to eat in the daytime again. Everytime I get hungry in the day now, I have to remind myself that I can eat. How weird! It’s a spiritual adjustment because there are so many blessings in Ramadan and as soon as Eid is over, the days feel so different. I have no way of explaining or describing it, but no matter how excited I get every year that it’s almost Eid, once Eid passes I find myself feeling sad that it’s over.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get much work done this Ramadan and so find myself behind on a lot of my personal projects. I was supposed to begin working on my fourth manuscript this summer, but something huge happened right before Ramadan that made me super distracted and excited so that I still haven’t started it yet. Now that Ramadan finished a few days ago, I still find myself distracted and unable to focus. I barely kept up with blogging here and really had to push myself for my other blog as well!
I had also planned to bake a lot more, to explore a lot of the deserts that I’ve been itching to make for years but never have, but also never got around to those. I’d like to think that I’ll start getting to them again soon, but my mom has other plans for me. She’s on a mission to teach me Pakistani cooking this summer! While I love to cook, I’m not a big fan of Pakistani cuisine (except a few notable dishes), so I’ve never really taken much of an interest in learning to cook it. But my mom wants me to learn the staple dishes and so I have a feeling I know what the rest of my summer is going to look like…
I also happen to turn a quarter of a century today. I’ve been having my quarter-life crisis for a few years now, so this year doesn’t really feel too much different. But 30 seems a lot closer now than it did when I was 21, which is when my quarter life crisis began lol.
When I was a kid, turning 25 seemed so glamorous. I still remember turning 15 and thinking to myself where I would be in 10 years, thinking that I would be so much more accomplished and put together, thinking I would have it all figured out. And while a (large) part of keeps thinking about all the things I still haven’t accomplished yet, I still try to remind myself of all the ways I’ve changed in the past 10 years, and even in the past 5 years.
I definitely don’t have it all figured out but I feel like I’m a lot closer. I’ve realised that I don’t need to follow society’s expectations of being a woman or following a traditional career path. I’ve realised that I’d rather work my hardest over the things I love and that make me happy than on things that other people think I should do. I’ve realised that all I can do is try my hardest; things won’t always work out or happen the way and when I want them to do. But all I can do is try.
Ever since finishing school at the end of May, I felt like I had the whole summer stretching out until September. But September, which has always signified the beginning of a new routine for me, always feels a lot closer on my birthday. As someone who’s always been forward looking, it’s always been difficult for me to live in the moment and enjoy the present. I’m usually always regretting the past or thinking wistfully about the future. But this year I plan on changing that, inshAllah.
Today, I plan on being thankful for all the things I have right now and who I am. I don’t want to drown myself in the good memories of the past and thinking about how things used to be. I don’t want to lose myself in thoughts about all the things I have yet to accomplish in the future and all the things I want to be. I just want to be.
Sorry if this got overly cheesy/sentimental! I’m currently listening to Ed Sheeran’s new album (which I LOVE) and it’s very wistful and romantic.
Anyways, a belated Eid Mubarak to all of you who celebrated! For those of you who didn’t, a happy August to you all. Hope you’re enjoying the summer! 🙂
As always, thanks for reading,